LOOK WHO'S BACK, BACK AGAIN.

Shady's back. Celebrate.

Errr, maybe... Sabres are back? Celebrate? Ehh, my attempt at rewriting Eminem's lyrics are no where near as good as some of the others I've attempted, like Tom Petty's Free Fallin', Lou Bega's Mambo #5, or The Foundation's Build Me Up Buttercup.

Wow. I don't go off on tangents much...

Are those the Sabres I'm in love with, winning before my very eyes once again? ARE THEY BACK AGAIN? I can honestly say that I think the Sabres have finally woken up and turned the ship around. At least it appears that way, right?

I think we finally got some of that good puck luck that Lindy's been talking about, ever since the guys apparently gave up on The System.

But seriously, though, I'm too overjoyed that they finally are putting a GOOD streak together to even figure out something to write about... That's terrible.

OHHHH. But seriously guys? You need to look for me and my beautiful friend Brittany on TV tomorrow. I'll show you exactly where we're sitting tomorrow, but I'm still looking for the right picture, but anyways, we'll be sitting front row in a corner, behind Ryan twice. EXCITING SHIT, as I've never sat front row before. And I've been going to Sabres games my whole life. Strange...

Did anyone else get really, really, REALLY annoyed that the (a) Versus guys kept talking about the Crosby and Malkin Shows, and the (b) refs totally tried to screw us over and hand the game to the Pens on a silver platter??

It's a damn good thing we have awesome penalty killers...

And I seriously think Derek is trying to win me back with pretty goals, and a nice point streak, and a point total that's approaching his pace for last season. Well, it's working.

BUT DEREK... We need to take our relationship slowly. Obviously, jumping in that deep, that quickly distracted you, and I apologize for being responsible for your slow start. If we take it slow, maybe you can focus more on your game and not be so overwhelmed by our amazing compatibility. That way, you're happy because you're playing better, and Lindy's happy because you're playing better, and most likely the team is happier because they'll be winning more, and I'll be happy because you guys are all happy.

It's a win-win situation, really.

You know what else is a win-win situation?


AL SCORED!! Okay, so maybe that didn't make sense, but whatever. I almost never make sense, so it's appropriate.

But he really does score in all areas of life, because this is his girlfriend:


I'm shocked that it's not another blonde. Not that there's anything wrong with blondes, or anything. One of my best friends is blonde. I just think it's funny that most of them are blonde... Very pretty, though.

And can I just say that I'm really glad that Crosby (or Crotch-by, as I dubbed him at one point last night) was held to a -2, and that my Pittsburgh BF Jordan Staal got nothing. Nothing at all. Love it.

Well, I guess that's about all I can come up with for now. I'll probably post later when I'm not in an I-just-woke-up-and-cannot-focus-on-anything stupor.

<3 Sabres.

OH, LIFE.

So Saturday night was pretty much awesome.. That is, until about 2 am, at which point Lucas and Jay decided to argue about which anatomical area on the male body fosters more bacteria: The groin, or the hands. And then they were arguing about when they should wash their hands--before or after they use the bathroom. WAY TO KILL A FABULOUS MOOD. They pretty much ruined the party. Oh well.

And then, I was planning on driving home, but since, in that particular area of Amherst we were in, you couldn't see out the front window of their house, I spent the night at Britt's, since she lives two minutes from there, and myself 15.

So yesterday morning, I found myself comfy in B's bed, trying to post from my phone. Alas, since Verizon has what I am sure is the worst mobile internet around, I had written my entire post, and THEN IT WOULDN'T LET ME. And I was too frustrated and tired and hung-over to write it again once I had come home.

But anyways, it mostly consisted of something like this (I'm going purely from memory, here, kids. Bear with me.):

WTF, SABRES. WTF.

See, now, I'm think I'm an extremely devoted person, when I want to be. So when I take the time to be devoted to a flailing hockey team, YOU TAKE IT.

I almost abandoned you, though. See, my 16-year-old cousin Trevor plays hockey for his high school. I almost took up cheering for his team full time instead of you, Sabres. Because his team is actually good. And he's my cousin, so I have to like his hockey team. But Sabres? You're making me want to like his team.

THAT IS, UNTIL I DECIDED TO BREAK UP WITH PRINCESS D, AND NOT PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO YOUR GAME, AND INSTEAD GET DRUNK. THEN YOU DECIDE TO WIN.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

But I'm glad you won. And I'm glad Derek scored. We're broken up until further notice. But just so you know, D, I want you back.

Just to prove that we do, in fact, belong together: At the party we were playing Fuck the Dealer. Now, the first deck of cards that Tom grabbed from somewhere in the house was a deck Luke had received when he went to Aces and Blades a couple years ago. I had never played this game before, so when my turn came around, I had no strategy, or anything. I just picked a number--8--and who was on that card, a winning card, mind you? DEREK ROY. FATE-TASTIC, FOR REALS.

But anyways, I don't really have much to say in the way of hockey. Nothing's really happened.

Oh... Wait. My Pirates.

So I'm sad that Marky Mark's stay in Buffalo has ended. Lindy really didn't utilize him correctly, but whatever. Moving on. GERBE DERBY!!! AHHHHHHHH. Enough said.

And my poor Mikey Funk... Remember how he had a concussion during camp, that he suffered on, like, the first day? Yeah, well when Kim and I were up in Portland for a game, it just so happened to be my love's first game back from the head injury. So Saturday night, who gets absolutely obliterated from behind into the boards? MIKE FUNK. Who has another concussion as a result? MIKE FUNK.


I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO KILL ANSSI SALMELA IF I EVER SEE HIM ON THE STREETS. UGH.

I swear to God, if he becomes the next Tim Connolly/Brett Lindros/Pat LaFontaine in regards to bruised brains, I'LL SERIOUSLY CRY, because I love him.

Okay then. Now that I got that out of my system... I baked cookies last night for a friend, and then I made some special ones for Kim and myself, for our little soiree this evening.

If I could send cookies (the edible kind) through the internet, I'd have a big platter full of them for you all. But, since I can't do that, here's something sweet instead:

BACKGROUND INFO IS NECESSARY, THOUGH. Remember that picture that caused quite a ruckus in these parts recently?? Well, remember how we thought that it was one Clarke MacArthur that was grabbing the junk of one Derek Roy??

WELL IT WASN'T THE GENERAL, AND I HAVE THE PROOF.

Here's a snipet of the picture in question:


Notice the man on the left--supposedly Clarke MacArthur. Notice the writing on D's shirt. Also, notice the man to the right's striped green shirt.

Now take a look at this picture, which I got off of another Facebook account:


HMMM... RECOGNIZE ANYONE??

The guy in the green Fox track jacket and the green Von Dutch hat would be D's younger brother, Scott. Hmm, that other green shirt looks awfully familiar, doesn't it? And the guy next to Derek--supposedly Sparky--doesn't appear to look like Sparky at all, actually.

So there you have it, folks. Derek's sexuality status is still in limbo, but as far as I'm concerned, the second coming of the Man-Child is straight, and as innocent as can be.

LET'S GO BUFFALO!!!

I THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM...

So, I think you can tell by now that I'm pretty much addicted to the Sabres, and the game of hockey in general.

Because, in light of the Sabres' terrible play, I almost abandoned them for my 16-year-old cousin's high school team. They do better, at least, and I have an undying devotion to my Trevor, so... But, when my aunt dropped off Christmas cookies yesterday (!!!! Too bad they're all gone already...), she told me that Trev had a game last night. Too bad I picked up a shift at work because I took this weekend off...

So whatever.

Oooh, now I sound like Ryan Miller...

Anyways, let me get to the point.

This morning, you'd probably think, and that includes myself, that I'd still be disgusted with the Sabres, and that I would want nothing to do with them, and that I'd still want my fake relationship with Derek to be over, but...

I DONT.

First thing (well, actually, not quite, but same difference) that I thought this morning when I woke up? THERE'S A SABRES GAME TONIGHT. Sad thing (maybe not?) is, though, I'm not sure how much of it I'll see. See, the guys are throwing Britt and I a little soiree for our birthdays (hers was the same as Kim's (this past Monday), and mine is a week from this coming Monday), and while they'll probably have the game on, I'm concerned that, if the boys start losing and/or playing like they have as of late, they just might turn it off. AND I DON'T WANT THAT, YA HEAR???

Oh, and while we're talking about my birthday, I have to remind you that Princess D is going to be at Dave and Adam's on Tuesday the 16th. I went and bought tickets for Kim and myself yesterday. Price gouging, for reals. I'm going to have him sign my jersey, and Kim's going to have him sign a birthday card for me.

WE NEED YOUR HELP, THOUGH. What kind of card do you think we should get for me? (A) One with a (half) naked man (Possible issues: He may steal it.), (B) a singing/musical card, or (C) a funny one? I think the naked man card could be interesting...

BUT REALLY...

What am I going to do with myself?? I fear I'm too far gone, and nothing could ever help me..

I think I really do live and die by the outcome of the Sabres games... And that's kind of pathetic.

But it's most definitely alright with me.

And, remember that thing I said about the Pirates yesterday? How they weren't letting me down? Well, that was an attempt to boost their confidence, which apparently didn't work. Since we've taken Marky Mark from them, they won one of their past seven games. Ouch. Sorry, Portland. I still love you, though. Next time I go to Boston, I'm coming up again. Don't you worry.

Ughhh, so like I said, I'm not going to comment on actual hockey at all, so long as it involves the Sabres. That's why I'm leaving you with this:


I WANT TO SEE PLENTY OF THIS TONIGHT, AND NOT JUST AT THE PARTY.

I want the Sabres to join Drew, his father, and their friend... or just Drew... high-five-ing over a few beers at a Pittsburgh bar after tonight's game. NOTICE I SAID HIGH-FIVES. No drinking away your sorrows allowed tonight.

Umm, so, let's go Buffalo???

I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

So I tried, I really did, okay so maybe it wasn't the best effort but I did I really did.


SABRES, I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU...


In reality I tried to not say their names and I tried to now think about them but every thought permeating my brain contained thoughts of the boys in blue and gold who deserve my love and affection no matter how sucky they've been playing lately. Truthfully I want to love them and hug and squeeze them until their eyes pop out of their heads...but that would be bad, so maybe not.

Dear Sabres,

What you really need is my support and I realized that you boys were very upset with my claims that I had disowned you. It's all my fault that you guys lost last night, I didn't believe in you, I let my petty feelings get in the way of my undying love and admiration for you and for that I'm truly sorry. I don't know what came over me, maybe it was the fact that my brain was so addled by studying that I wasn't thinking clearly, but whatever the reason I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me, I hang my head in shame.

Love,
Kim

I'M CALLING YOU OUT

Okay, Sabres. You've had your fun. And by fun, I mean toying with the hearts of countless people throughout Western New York, Southern Ontario, and across the country.

AND WE DON'T APPRECIATE IT.

In fact, it's downright despicable. I really don't care for how you've been playing, at all. Goaltending? Needs to be better. Consistent, but yet, needs to be better. Defense? Don't even get me started. Offense? Ditto.

First of all, DEREK ROY I TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH ANYONE. Not the coach who led you to the Memorial Cup, no one. Know why? Because he coaches Gregory Campbell. YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM. Wanna know why? Because he could have single-handedly beat you last night. That's why.

Anyways...

I mean, something is obviously wrong in the locker room. I, for one, don't think it's Lindy Ruff's fault. The guys don't have it in them. I don't know why, but they just don't. Somehow, though, I honestly feel like management might call for Lindy's head. But I don't think Regier would allow Ruff to be axed; they've been together too long, and they were together when this team didn't make the playoffs, what, three seasons in a row? Regier, as we are all too well aware, is not one to jump the gun, so I really believe that Ruff's job is safe, and that's fine by me, because he is an elite coach.

That being said, I'll refer to my comment about the guys just not showing up. What's my solution to that? Make some phone calls to Portland. Get Nathan Gerbe on a plane ASAP. If I were Lindy, I'd stick with the plan of benching guys. I'm still on the Bench Derek Roy Bandwagon. He most definitely needs to play better (and obviously my theory of embarrassing him didn't work as well as I had hoped). But seriously. Rotate Gerbe in for the guys we are very much underachieving this year. Oh, wait... That's pretty much everyone except for Vanek, and I'll throw MacArthur in there (strictly because of his numbers) and Mancari (because he's played pretty well). And like I said, don't even get me started on the D. Seriously, bench them all. Play Paetsch and Weber in Lydman and Tallinder's spots for a few games, and then in Sekera and Spacek's, and then Numminen's. I won't throw Rivet in there because he's been battling injuries all season, but still.

SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE.

We obviously have to find what's wrong with this team, and we have to find it now. Because as it stands, playoff-wise, we're already on the outside. And I'm not so sure I can take another Sabre-less late spring.

Like I said to Anne today, I seriously want to jump a plane to Tampa when I drop my brother off at the airport this morning. I really want to go down there, smack every single Buffalo Sabre across the face, and then proceed to bawl my eyes out and throw a hissy fit to make them see just how much their sucking affects me.



Oh, my God. If I talk about them any more I think I actually might start crying. Either that, or my couch pillows and other household objects may suddenly be able to fly...



So, I think, instead of talking about those men who shall not be named (Sounds like Harry Potter, eh? I think I might use Kim's method: ******.), I think I'm just going to post ridiculous pictures of them, and talk about my boyfriends from the other teams.

Here goes.

So, in last night's game, my Florida boyfriend, the beautiful David Booth did what? Nothing. Oh, that's right, because he didn't play, because he has some shoulder injury.

WHY IS IT THAT THE ONES I LIKE ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET HURT????

But Marcus Naslund scored for the Rangers, neither of my goalie BF's played in the Islanders/Caps game, both Staal brothers let me down in their matchup, Shea Weber netted a goal, Todd Fedoruk did as well, and that's it. Well I guess I pretty much got stood up across the board. But thank you, Marcus, Shea, and Todd, for trying to cheer me up. But, alas, it didn't work.

At least Tampa lost... But, wait, I don't think that will matter since they absolutely steamrolled us when they were up here last.

Umm, so a picture...

So I lied. I can't look at my pictures of the ****** without getting all kinds of upset. Well, I'll put up a picture of one of my guys who didn't let me down last night:

The Pirates couldn't possibly let me down last night because they didn't play.



In fact, they only made me love them more.

While the Sabres are out making millions by playing terribly and galavanting on the beach and Chippewa, the most adorable hockey players every (coughTHEPIRATEScough) are doing charity work. Yeah, that's right, and making the days of countless children, grown men, and adoring women.

Three of the four Mikey-Poo's in Portland (Card, Funk, and Kostka), along with Derek Whitmore unveiled the newly remodeled Dorothy Elizabeth room at Gary's House, a Ronald McDonald-esque house, in Portland. They also decorated for Christmas.

And then Tim Kennedy (who looks like a child himself) and Jimmy Bonneau did a signing.

The Pirates are my new hockey loves.

Take that, Sabres. Oh, and Derek Roy? I'm breaking up with you.

NOW WHAT?

Yeah, so I'm sure you all know what's going on with a certain picture of a certain Derek Roy... But I'm not even going to say I'm sorry for the spread of that picture. You know why? First of all, it's his own damn fault, secondly, I did nothing wrong, and thirdly, it was with good intentions the most harmless of intentions possible.

So, Derek, just be glad we took the picture down, although it can be found elsewhere, now, from what I've seen...

Oh well. Next time, don't let your friends violate you in public, let someone else photograph it, and the let them put it on Facebook, where anyone can see it. Namely, me. Because you know I'm giving it to MJ.

Anyways, back to legit hockey blogging.

Toni Lydman is doubtful for tonight, as is Craig Rivet, apparently. So who would get the logical promotion from Portland? Mike Weber, obviously. But I guess he's been iffy, as far as health is concerned, so then who?

(Lindy doesn't seem too, too concerned about those issues, but still...)

Marc-Andre Gragnani, in 20 games, has 1 goal and 10 assists; also, he's a -1 with 16 penalty minutes.

Mike Kostka has 2 goals and 6 assists, also in 20 games, with 6 PIM, and he's a +8.

Chris Butler's points and games are the same as Kostka's, but he is a +2 with 14 penalty minutes.

My Mikey-Poo, Mr. Funk, has been limited to 11 games due to a concussion he suffered the opening day of training camp. But, in those 11 games, he's netted just 1 goal and 3 assists. He's racked up 8 penalty minutes and is a +3.

Paul Baier, whom I'm not sure we have rights to?, has 3 points (1-2) in 18 games, with a -2 and 12 PIM.

Weber has played 19 games, has only 2 assists to put towards his point total, and is a +5 with 51 PIM.

Mike Card has been limited to 13 games, most recently due to taking a puck off of his gorgeous face (please don't need plastic surgery). He's only got 1 assist, so far, on the year, and is an even 0 on +/-, with 16 penalty minutes.

I'm making my choice with the assumption that Weber is unavailable, fyi...

So, based purely on statistics, I'd probably want to call up Gragnani or Kostka. Based on playing style, comparable to Lydman, I'd probably go with Funk, because when I've seen him play in person, he's physical on the puck, and he can skate. Based solely on the fact that I adore him, I'd call Funker, as well.

But I'm kind of mad at him because he still hasn't accepted my friendship on Facebook... Then again, neither have Mancari or Dylan Hunter, so idk... What's with these Portland boys? Don't they check their Facebook 1,978,234,986 times a day like I do?? Well, at least Gerbe Derby does...

Anyways, I've come to the conclusion that blogging purely on the game is kind of boring. I like being ridiculous way, way, way too much.

SO.

I'm throwing this out there:


UMMMM WHAT??

Tommy, what the hell were you thinking when this picture was taken?? I'm not even going to talk about that RIDICULOUS hat.

Um, and what are you doing in that area of Buffalo???

Hmm, well, Shelby, that's for you.

But anyways, the Panthers? Stephen Weiss? Gregory Campbell? Not too intimidated. But Derek, seriously, forget that your friends with the later. Please. No nice guys tonight.

So I guess I'll miss probably half of the game. I've decided that if they're winning, maybe I won't watch the rest of it?? Because, I don't know, maybe it's me. I kind of take it personally when the Sabres are sucking, and get all bummed and mope around the house... I swear, if I slit my wrists, I'd covered in blue and gold goo. So maybe I won't watch/listen, just to see if that works... But I don't know if I can hold out like that. I've never intentionally ignored a game...

We'll see. Go Sabes!

AVERY AND LAVIOLETTE

So I had to giggle a little, okay a lot, when I saw that Avery had been suspended because let's face it, he had it coming. After the crap he pulled against Brodeur last year and all the underhanded, nasty things he's done to various players I'd say he deserved it. Maybe now he'll get a full time job at Vogue and leave the hockey world in peace, we'd all be better off without him I'm sure.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the douchebag of the day.

Oh the inhumanity, what is with those glasses and that haircut this why they created shows like What Not To Wear. Somebody call the fashion police because obviously his time at Vogue taught him nothing.

In other news Carolina has relieved Peter Laviolette of his duties as head coach of the Hurricanes, which is just the polite way to say that they fired his ass. I was surprised as hell considering, as all of us here in Buffalo know, the Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup in 2006 with Laviolette as head coach. Management was disappointed that the Hurricanes had started the season 12-11-2 so they decided it was time for something new, or old. Paul Maurice the new head coach is actually an old head coach having been behind the bench as head coach in Carolina from 1995 to 2003. I guess what's old is new again.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of One Sean Avery

Okay... Having watched the Sabres play against Sean Avery's multiple teams numerous times, and then seeing his antics with many players throughout the league, especially those with Martin Brodeur, I can honestly say that he is one of the few players in the league that I have no respect for.

Having said that, his "method" of antagonizing other players, and thereby teams, is definitely affective. (The Good)

I don't agree with whatever he does, because he doesn't leave it on the ice. I stand by the principle in hockey of "leaving it on the ice." Don't bring an argument with other players into their personal life, or vice versa. Leave it on the ice. If you've got a problem with another player, drop the gloves with him. Don't take shots at his girlfriend in the press.

That being said, I'm not entirely sure that I think a hearing should be held for Avery, or that he should miss more games, other than last night's. I feel slapping him with a hefty fine for violating a code of conduct would suffice. Because a suspension, and the attention, is exactly what Sean wants. He wants to know that he's getting under the skin of everyone in the NHL--the players, the coaches, the owners, the commissioner, etc. And by suspending him, and holding a hearing, he's getting everything that he wanted. He asked for that, and the NHL is merely appeasing him, whether they realize it or not. (The Bad)

(And now, the Ugly)

Usually, when a player gets in a fight, or has words with another, their teammates will back them up. That's the case with your Matt Barnaby's, Michael Peca's, etc.

But it speaks volumes about Avery when the guys he shares a locker room with are disgusted by his antics.

Brad Richards, Marty Turco, and the like all said, basically, that they're unimpressed, disappointed, yet not shocked about anything said yesterday.

Dave Tippett, coach of the Stars, had this to say:

"I think everyone in our room believes there is an integrity that has to go along with the game, respect for the game and respect for your opponents and Sean crossed that line.

"I think the words, the words and disrespect for an opponent like that is something ... there's lots of trash talking that goes on on the ice. But then to announce something like that for everybody to hear, to me that crosses the line and the League -- and our ownership felt that, too.

"Sean crossed that line. He won't continue with us on the trip. We've always professed that there is nobody that's ever bigger than our group or bigger than the team.

"Sean said something that just doesn't paint our organization in a good light, and appropriate steps are being taken."

I think Barnaby said it best: "As a former player, I don't agree with the suspension. Trust me, I said a lot of nasty things to a lot of different players but everything stayed on the ice. Bringing it out in the media is classless and stupid.

"I've played in that organization and it is a class organization. I think he's played his last game as a Dallas Star."

I, for one, will not be upset in the least bit if those sentiments hold true.

WELL, THAT WAS AN AWFUL BIRTHDAY...

So as we all know by now the ****** lost last night and as I told Cari after the game they didn't win therefore I am disowning them until further notice. I know I'm being petty and childish but I don't care it's my party and I'll cry if I want to. I asked them to do one thing, ONE THING, to win on my birthday and they couldn't do it, they couldn't even score. So the place that the ****** occupied in my heart up until now is empty and will continue to remain so until they win or at least score. So today instead of filling up on my once beloved team, like usual, I'm going to fill up on cakey goodness in the hopes that it will fill the void that the ****** have left in my soul. I feel kind of like the girl who didn't have a date for prom and sits home all alone with her quart of ice cream. Well, the ****** were my prom date and they stood me up BIG TIME. As you've probably noticed by now I refuse to call them by name and I will continue to not call them by name until they win, it's all part of my plan.

I sat there during the game and kept going to myself, it has to get better, it has to get better, but it didn't and then I was depressed. So on top of spending most of my birthday studying for a quiz that I had today, the team, who shall not be named by me until they win, lost.

Well anyways I'm Paille years old now so that means that I'm a quarter of a decade or a score when I feel like being technical. The one nice thing about my birthday is that I always know there are only 25 days until Christmas and that ABC Family will start showing all the Christmas movies that I love. But I'm off to read for nutrition and finsish watching The Polar Express. Toodles.

Okay, seriously, I've got to stop this already.

There's only so many times that my theories can be right... I mean, it's just not a good sign for the world when I have these crazy ideas, and they actually hold true. IT'S DOWNRIGHT SCARY.

Did I not, yesterday, say that Derek probably pulled his groin while falling on the ground?

Well, my friends, I wasn't far off. Because, after conferring with dear MJ, we've come to the conclusion that D's latest ailment--BACK SPASMS--were suffered when he allowed his male counterparts (but not teammates) to carry him down Chippewa.

Geez, D, do you get any more predictable? Or outrageous?

Don't worry, though. I still love you.

And I'm even offering to be your beard. I'll aide you in your struggle to rebuild your reputation in the Buffalo Sabres Blogosphere, as well as mend your dignity and self-respect. And while I'm at it, I'll work to remove all threatening pictures of you from the internet, but then proceed to share them with the Blogosphere, because I could never keep something like what we've shared the past couple days from them. That'd just be cruel.

You know what else is cruel? The fact that my mother said this: "Cari, we'll know for sure that Derek's gay when he starts dating Sean Avery."

That's just cruel and unusual...

But, then, would that make D some of my least-favorite fashionista's "sloppy seconds?"

Avery, by the way, is probably the biggest tool ever known to grace the face of the Earth. That was completely uncalled for.

Oh, and has anyone heard anything about our favorite womanizer/man-whore?

EVERY TIME WE HAVE A LITTLE TIFF...

...Derek goes and runs in the bathroom...

Or out onto Chippewa...

What happened to Derek?

(Okay, so I promised more pictures, and here is my way of giving them to you, without mentioning anything about last night's game at all, other than in my make-believe argument with Derek, but you'll have to bear with me as Derek and I have our first fight:)

Derek: Cari, how can you expect me to play well when you're not wearing my jersey, and barely watching me play?

Cari: Derek, I can't expect you to pay off my student loans, my credit card bills, my phone bill, and my car insurance, so I have to work--AT MY JOB--which usually allows me to watch the games, but sometimes the elderly have to go to the bathroom, which is why I can't always watch, and which is also why I don't always wear your jersey. Selfish jerk.

Derek: EXCUSE ME??

Cari: You heard me, Mister.

Derek: Well... I'm sorry that I haven't played well. I am. But my groin hurts.

Cari: Well maybe you should stop having your friends grab your groin while you're drunk! Ever think of that??

Derek: What are you even talking about?

Cari: Ask MJ.

Derek: Oh... That. I was drunk.

Cari: No duh. So maybe instead of going out and drinking away your sorrows after the team loses, maybe you could either hang around at the arena and watch some tape or workout or something, or take a walk back to your house and get some sleep...

Derek: FINE!

Cari: Oh, now don't go getting all defensive on me and running away...

Derek: I just feel like you don't appreciate me anymore!


Cari: Oh, stop it. You know, whenever we get in a tiff, you go and make this puppy dog pose, and I get all mushy inside...

Derek: Really?

Cari: Yeah, really. I don't care if your male friends grab your crotch while you're drunk... I love you. I really do. But the side thing about that is, I think I could get past your apparent homosexual tendencies. Just, don't let me find out that you really do bat for my team, because I don't think I could take that.

Derek: I'll try to stop disappointing you...

Cari: That'd be a good place to start. And you can definitely start by playing very, very well when I sit front-row a week from tomorrow, against Tampa. I don't want Vinny, Marty, and Steven running the show like the last time they were in town.

Derek: Gotcha.

Cari: So, go workout or something. And tell Patty K and Craigory that I love them, and hope they get better very, very soon. I have to go, Derek. We'll talk about this later.

(That's what I think of when I see that picture... Derek throwing a hissy fit. And thanks, again, to one of my most-awesomest readers, Katie, for continuing to send me the most ludicrous pictures of Princess D, which only make me love him more, no matter how compromising they might be...)

I have another theory...

Okay, I have to start off this entry by wishing my beautiful partner-in-crime and best friend Kim a wonderfully happy Birthday. She turns Paille years old today!!

Oh, and Paul?? Kim's hoping and wishing that you score a hat trick today. I'm thinking it's not going to happen. We'll see.

And I'll be the same in Stafford days...

Back to the real reason I'm so excited about posting today...

We all know that Derek Roy is the most high-maintenance of the Sabres, and we all know that he lives a lavish lifestyle that Kanye West dreams of. But Derek's a pretty simple guy. Wanna know why? Because he gets drunk, and does really ridiculous stuff, just like anyone else who's had a few too many.

But what I really love about this guy? The fact that he falls down on the sidewalk on Chippewa, with only one shoe one.


GOD, I NEED TO MARRY THIS MAN. <33333

So I have this theory about how D might have hurt his groin. Now, among the wonderful pictures that dear reader Katie so wonderfully gifted to me, there's one that puts Princess D in quite a compromising position... I'm not going to elaborate... I'll leave that for my dear friend MJ, as I couldn't do it any justice...

BUT. I honestly believe that Princess D was probably out drinking at Liars or somewhere, and decided he wanted a change of scenery, so he stumbled out onto Chippewa. But because he'd had a few too many already, didn't consider picking his feet up to step over the cracks in the sidewalk, and took a tumble. I'm sure he twisted his groin while rolling around on the sidewalk like a turtle flipped over on its back.

And we all know how my theories seem to be working out this year. Remember what I said about the Sabres and Bills winning and losing together???

And, as if this day couldn't start off any worse, I'M HEARING FROM SABRES EDGE THAT PATTY K MIGHT BE HURT???!!??!!! OMG NO. I adore him. So no. Please. Just, no.

I don't think my heart could take a blow like that one after those pictures... I'm just too elated about Derek Roy to take a hit with Patty... It would just kill me....

And I'm with Lindy. We need some "puck luck," and we need it bad.

Jason's Birthday Weekend Couldn't Get Worse.

Okay, well, maybe if the Sabres had lost on Friday, it could've, but they didn't, thankfully.

I'm not even going to talk about the depressing game the Sabes played on Saturday, and I don't even want to think about the stupid Bills game that Kim and I sat out in the rain for. EPIC FAILS ALL AROUND.

And how is it that my favorites from both teams end up with phantom groin injuries??? Just when they're playing poorly??

I'm too frustrated in my teams, and the fact that I messed up the cookies I was baking yesterday (I put in 5 cups of flour instead of 2.5. Go me.), just repels me from blogging this evening.

So Kim and I are going to go put some comfy, warm, and dry clothes on, eat some spaghetti, and play Guitar Hero World Tour some more. Not that playing from 11 pm last night until 4 in the morning wasn't enough, or anything.

BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON POMINVILLE!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!



We'll return tomorrow morning to our regularly-scheduled Sabres-fanatical blogging.

And believe me... It'll be worth it.

Life, Jaroslav's Eating Habits, and Unanswered Questions

Here's the part where I complain about my personal life for a moment:

Okay, so we all know that I don't have the most glamorous job around--I change the diapers of the elderly, bathe them, and put them in bed. Not that spectacular, and pretty smelly, which is why I don't often go out after work. At least, if I do, I shower first, which means I don't go out until 1 am, which, in Buffalo, is not late at all, but still...

ANYWAYS, because I had to work last night, and then told a coworker that I'd cover her overnight shift, I couldn't go shopping this morning. I mean, not that I can really afford to spend my money unnecessarily, or anything... But I love shopping, and Black Friday shopping is like, the most fun ever.

So I'm a little bummed that I didn't get to go shopping, and now I'm running on four hours of sleep, and about to get ready to head back to work. And my supervisor even had the gall to ask if I'd do another double tonight. NO THANK YOU. I have plans for tomorrow. They're not that exciting, but it's stuff that needs to get done. I have to go to the post office and find a box big enough to fit a Sabres jersey and a container of cookies to send to Andy, I have to make the cookies (which Kim has so kindly offered to assist), clean my room, make preparations for Sunday's Bills/49ers' game, and, oh yeah, WATCH THE SABRES.

And then there's always the Sociology tests that I have to take online by the 17th, and the lab practical I have for Anatomy on Wednesday.

Yuck.

BUT BACK TO MY PURPOSE IN LIFE, TALKING ABOUT THE SABRES.

All of these videos about the boys and their Thanksgivings are just adorable.

I love how Patty's mom lays down the law and gives him a time to be at the 'rents house by. I also love how Jason got that sheepish smile when talking about Thanksgiving (which I think is extra cute because he still celebrates it even though his American mother and himself have lived in Canada for how long?), and how Jaro talks about his abilities to cook foul, when we all know all he really does is bite the head off, Ozzy Osbourne style. And I especially like his name pronunciation correction during the Sabres show (it's right after the commercial).



I really think that I adore that man.

In other news, I'm really hoping Tommy is okay. Because the more effect Milan Lucic is having on this team, the less I like him, and the more inclined I am to hurting him. And I really don't feel like going to jail anytime soon, so Tommy had best be alright. If he wants to sit out tonight, fine, okay. But not tomorrow. We need him tomorrow more than tonight, because, when it comes down to getting into the playoffs down the stretch, we'll need divisional points more than conference points. Therefore, Montreal on Saturday is more important.

Plus, once Al comes back healthy, who sits? Danny's supposed to be playing, so I don't necessarily see him sitting anytime soon, and I don't see the Sabres sending Mancari down in the near future. Well, at least they wouldn't have any legit reason for doing so...

OH!! And to the person who found us by searching for this:



I give you your answer. Also someone found this by searching for "Adam Cari Miller." What, did I all of a sudden marry Ryan Miller, and now we have a son named Adam? And no, for another person's inquiring mind, I do not know the colors of the Sabres' respective bedrooms, I do not love Maria Genero, I don't want to ship Derek off to Maine, I'm not friends with Garnet Exelby on Facebook, I've never seen Daniel Briere shirtless (nor do I want to), and I'm not going to trash talk Marky Mark's beautiful girlfriend. If you want to do that, and I suggest and beg that you don't, go over to those trashy forums. Because I don't have vendettas against the girls that the guys I love decided to go out with. I'm not a jealous bitch, so you've got no business being here if you want that (Can you tell that I can't stand those forums, no matter how addicting they are??).

Well, kids, I have to go get ready for work. Thankfully, though, the nurse I work with is awesome and likes the Sabres, too, so I never miss a game while I'm there. I'll post after the game if there's something good to talk about.

Turkey?? Pfft.... I WANT GOOSE.

Cari: Danny, I missed you tonight.

Dan: Yeah, I wish I could've played, but you know how it goes...

Cari: So, why did I see you all sad and lonely up in the press box this evening?

Dan: Well, you know, I got sick somehow. I think Drew might've given me some candy off the floor or something... Adam's always telling me and Clarke not to take stuff from Drew because he's a weirdo. But Drew always has the best candy and stuff, so I didn't think it would be a problem...

Cari: Okay, you're sick... That makes sense, I guess. But why were you all by yourself? How come you weren't sitting with Timmy?

Dan: First of all, I'm not allowed to hang out with Timmy. Adam says he plays Doctor too much, and that I can't play with him if he does. Second of all, I was in Time Out.

Cari: Time Out?!? How come?

Dan: Because I threw up in Nathan's skates...

Cari: So that's why he wasn't playing tonight... But why all alone, though?

Dan: Adam said it was punishment for not throwing up in "that little puke Lucic's" skates. I kinda wish I had after he tried to kill all my friends tonight. I'm going to get him one day for that. And that's a promise. But Pat already told me that Lucic had better watch out if they're ever on the ice at the same time.

Cari: Yeah, I don't care for him much, either, especially after he went after Princess D.

Dan: Yeah. Oh hey! I like that jersey on you, by the way. I'll tell Derek that you look good in his name. Hey, and maybe that's why he played so well tonight!!

Cari: Danny, my friend, I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK. And also, tell him that I honestly believe in my heart that he should have had four goals tonight, the last coming on a penalty shot? Thanks much.

Dan: Sure thing.

Cari: And make sure everyone knows that Kim and I, next time we're in Boston, are going to track Milan Lucic down and beat his ass. Because I hate him.

Dan: I know. Hey, I have to go. It's past my bedtime.

Cari: Okay, Danny. I'll talk to you later. Good night, precious.


----------------------------------------------


So, beyond that, I'm soooooo incredibly happy about tonight's game. But here are the things I'm thankful for:

- The guy behind us at the game tonight who said "I want to call up Gerbe just to see if he could skate through Chara's legs."

- The group of four 11-year-old boys who told a Bruins fan that they'd "never seen a girl look hotter in a Boston jersey."

- The fact that no Sabres died in the making of this victory.

- Derek Roy's inability to stop finding ways to make me love him, and make fun of him, all at the same time.

- Paul Gaustad and Ryan Miller's inability to stop raising my expectations of men.

- Thomas Vanek's ability to continuously light the lamp.

- Patrick Kaleta, Andrew Peters, and Adam Mair's willingness to beat the crap out of people and sacrifice their bodies for the sake of the game.

- Tim Connolly's strength of character, combined with his entertaining sex-capades.

- Drew Stafford's Facebook pictures.

- Henrik Tallinder's dancing.

- Jaroslav Spacek's interviews.

- Nathan Paetsch's smile.

- Mark Mancari's voice.

- Daniel Paille's inability to take a normal-looking picture.

- Patrick Lalime's adoration of his daughters.

- Craig Rivet's adoration of Buffalo.

- Jason Pominville's loyalty to The (dreaded) System.

- Maxim Afinogenov's best game in a long time.

- Jochen Hecht's shortie, as well as the look on his face when he heard me say "I love you."

- Ales Kotalik's admission that he designed a line of hats.

- Clarke MacArthur's curly hair.

- Toni Lydman's choice in women.

- Teppo Numminen's picture from 1985.

- Andrej Sekera's polo player sweater.

- Lindy Ruff's ability to inspire these guys, year after year, after year.

- All of the Sabres Bloggers, because they're all foxy and incredibly intelligent, and probably some of the funniest writers I've ever come across.

- The city of Buffalo for being amazing.

- My cat Delilah for being the cutest fat cat around.

- And, lastly, my beautifully sexy friends, especially my dear Kimberly, as well as my mostly awesome family. Without them, I'd be completely lost in life.



So, everyone, have a beautiful holiday with your respective loved ones, and Kim and I will resume posting on Friday. I'm sure I forgot stuff about the game tonight, and I'm equally as sure Kim will let me know about it. So those things will make it up here eventually. But, until then, be safe, eat turkey, and love those Sabres!!

RUMORS OF MY DEMISE...

So looking back I realize that I haven't post in about a week and a half and I realized that many of you, that is if you care, might be wondering where the hell I am, or maybe you didn't notice, well if you did I thank you for caring. Let's put it this way, I am the bug on the windshield of life, I'm feeling all good and happy and then all of a sudden it's not so good and happy.

But anyway I have the rest of the week off so yay to vacation and sleep, which is what again? oh that's right something I haven't had a lot of in the past 3 weeks, unlike my wonderful counter part who has class tomorrow (sorry Cari, you know I love you). But that means I've also had time to update my profile information here, which previously looked like Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard, as well as catch up on some reading which involved books not composed of really long complicated words that I don't know the meaning of.

But in other good news Cari and I shall be attending tomorrow night's game against Boston and I feel I must remind you of what happened the last time we attended a Boston game together...oh that's right they LOST, something new and different for them (complete sarcasm there). We'll have played Boston three times in the last three weeks tomorrow night having lost two of those contest, so needless to say our track record against Boston has been less than stellar this season.
But, hopefully we can turn that all around tomorrow night with the return of Hank and Max to the line up, oh hockey gods let's hope.

The question remains, however, who sits out? The most obvious bench warmer for defense would be Nathan because he's been the odd man out all year, but well, I happen to think he played pretty damn well for someone who's had a pretty good view of the ice from the press box for most of the season. Offense is trickier, Boston is a pretty physical team which means we're going to need the enforcers patrolling the ice so that rules out Peters and Kaleta most likely. Paille is another player who could take a seat but seeing as it was his line that scored the first goal, YAY MARK, in Saturday night's game I'm thinking he's probably going to be playing. That leaves us with everyone's favorite rockstar, Drew Stafford, who, and it pains me to say this, has been really sucky lately, so he has my vote for bench warmer tomorrow night. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Lindy decides is best for the team.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving, I'll be going to my brother's in Rochester, gorging myself on turkey, stuffing and potato puff, staying over and then going shopping with my sister-in-law early on Friday. Which means I probably won't be posting until after Friday night's game unless something drastic happens betwen now and then, let's hope not, unless it's of the good variety.

So until then, LET'S GO BUFFALO.

FORBIDDEN FRUIT

Okay, so there's no new Sabres news to go around, and I've got no stories that I can think of that are worth sharing--

(Except that Drew Stafford and I are now friends on Facebook. My friend Brittany is home for the week from Fredonia, and encouraged me to friend her new friend, so I did. I'm waiting on replies from Gerbe Derby, Funker, and Marky Mark.)

--so I've decided to comment on my (now, not-so-) secret loves from around the league. It also doesn't hurt that it occupies my sick-self for the morning. These aren't just spur-of-the-moment, I need something to post about things I pulled out of the air. I've actually liked these guys for a while, but never really felt like fessing up to it... Most of them can fall in to that category, at least... And the choosing of these boyfriends is purely shallow in method; no consideration of actual skill has entered my mind. Well, anyways, here goes:


Anaheim (Mighty) Ducks
I had a hard time choosing between Ryan Getzlaf and Brendan Morrison. What made me choose, though? Well, Ryan kinda reminds me of a teacher of mine from high school. I loved this teacher; he was awesome, and one of the only history teachers who actually made me like learning about it. But, he's not so asthetically pleasing, so I'm going to go with Brendan Morrison.

Atlanta Thrashers
(Off-topic comment, first: I cannot stand Garnet Exelby, but if you liked Anchorman, watch this.)
I really don't want to like a guy that I can't like anyone that shares a locker room with Chris Thorburn. I can't stand him. He's a jerk, and a dirty player. But, to hold to my little plan here, I'll go with Zach Bogosian. He's 18. That's disgusting.

Boston Bruins
I have to give credit where credit is due, so I have to say that Matt Hunwick, with his sun-bleached, curly locks, definitely gave me a run for my money, but my "loyalties" lie with Andrew Ferrence. He's so nice to look at, and it doesn't hurt that he and Goose both played for the Portland Winter Hawks.

Calgary Flames
Cory Sarich, hands down. I was sweating him since Day One of his Sabres career. I've told you once, and I'll tell you again, I fall hard for my Sabes. And that love never leaves me. Rhett Warrener can be thrown in there, too, I suppose.

Carolina Hurricanes
I don't know if I want to pick one, or at least fess up to it... But whatever. Umm, Eric Staal. Has there ever been an easier decision? Although, Cam Ward is a cutie... And when Mike Ryan is up from Albany, he's definitely a winner.

Chicago Blackhawks
I've got to go with MJ on this one. It's a no-brainer with Jonathan Toews. I was, for an instant, considering making it official with Brian Campbell, but I think I have to let my favorite hockey-playing redhead go...

Colorado Avalanche
Is it a rule of thumb that hot guys have hot friends? Because in Ryan Miller's case, it holds true. I like the fact that he brought my attention to John-Michael Liles. So, Ryan, thanks. A lot.

Columbus Blue Jackets
Helloooo Christian Backman. Mike Peca's still really handsome, but he was a love of my old friend Shauna back in, like, kindergarten. He's just been hanging around my life for too long. I need to move on.

Dallas Stars
So a while back, I would've said Mike Modano. Then it would've been Brad Richards. But now? Loui Eriksson.

Detroit Red Wings
Seriously, I don't know what's gotten into me lately... I've always been partial to guys with dark hair, dark eyes, yada, yada, yada... But what's with this influx of blondes? Nothing against blondes, but what gives? Here's the next one: Darren Helm.

Edmonton Oilers
(Can I just say that whoever the Oilers hired to design their website is the winner? They make it so much easier to compare the guys on the team... All the other teams should employ this genius as well.) I'm still going to have to go with one of my original Western Conference Loves... Ethan Moreau. Although, Kyle Brodziak and Ales Hemsky are runners-up.

Florida Panthers
So I'm obviously not going to say Stephen Weiss or Gregory Campbell. And I'd love to say Stefan Meyer, but he's technically on the Amerks' roster. So that leaves me with a decision to make. But it's a pretty easy one to make when I'm presented with one David Booth.

Los Angeles Kings
So, there weren't a whole lot of decent options out in LA, as far as I'm concerned, so I went with my default choice: Marc-Andre Cliche. I like that his last name is Cliche. idk....

Minnesota Wild
I typically tend to stray away from guys who are younger than me (but you wouldn't know it from some of my choices already...), just because I think it's weird, but I'll make an exception for Colton Gillies, even though I don't like his name.

Montreal Canadiens
Now, I hate the Canadiens as much as the next Buffalo girl, but man, oh man, do I love Canadians. But that actually has nothing to do with my guy from Montreal, because he's actually from Smithtown, NY. Seeing that he's from Long Island, he probably wasn't a Sabres fan growing up, though, but I'll let Christopher Higgins slide.

Nashville Predators
I can immediately cross off Scott Nichol, just because he's dirty, nasty, and gave Tim Connolly his initial concussion way back when. BUT, I can't hold that against his teammate, Shea Weber. He doesn't look too great in his headshot, either, but believe, me, he's very attractive.

(Wow, I didn't realize how long this endeavor would take me... Good thing TNT has a good line-up of daytime TV...)

New Jersey Devils
I fell in love with Dainius Zubrus the moment I saw his face. And, again, I don't let go easily.

New York Islanders
Ummm, Rick DiPietro. Duh...

New York Rangers
Do I even have to contemplate which Ranger is the best looking when the gorgeoud Marcus Naslund is on the roster??? Didn't think so...

Ottawa Senators
I actually think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... But if a decision must be made, a decision must be made. If one of my earlier posts wasn't evidence enough, let me remind you: Antoine Vermette.

Philadelphia Flyers
Martin Biron, no explanation necessary.

Phoenix Coyotes
Again with this blonde thing.. Well, I guess next time I go out to Arizona to visit Michelle, I'll have to go to a Coyotes game just to see Todd Fedoruk.

Pittsburgh Penguins
So, as tempted as I am to say Sidney Crosby, I have to say Jordin Staal. Their parents are spectacular...

San Jose Sharks
If I would've made this decision years ago, I would've said Joe Thornton for Boston. But, since he's playing for the Sharks now, and I'm kinda over him, I'm going with Torrey Mitchell.

St. Louis Blues
I love Jay McKee, as you're all well aware. Again, no explanation necessary.

Tampa Bay Lightning
So he's got a big nose? Vincent Lecavalier is gorgeous, generous, and classy. Those always win.

Toronto Maple Leafs
Do I have to? Oh, alright... I have to make another age-exception with this choice, seeing that he's one day short of a year younger than my cousin Todd, who is a month and a half older than me. Don't judge Luke Schenn by his headshot, though. He's really adorable.

Vancouver Canucks
If there were any team to be loaded with good-looking guys (other than the Sabres), I'm glad it's Vancouver. My favorite west coast and Canadian team... Well, we all know how I feel about Taylor "Bedroom Eyes" Pyatt and Steve "Big Bear" Bernier, but I most definitely have to go with the beautiful Ryan Kessler.

Washington Capitals
I absolutely love his hair.... He's the Christian Siriano of the NHL... Jose Theodore, no doubt.

Well, there it is. I'm done. And I'm going to take a nap because I feel like poop. I think my head is going to explode if I sneeze one more time, or my trachea is going to shatter if I cough again. Yikes... I need to get it together before the game tomorrow night...

Dear Ryan

Dear Ryan,

I just want to say a few things, because I need to get them off of my chest, and you, being the amazingly understanding and sensitive guy that you are, are the person I need to say them to.

Before I make my points, I just wanted to tell you that your taste in music is impeccable. We'd do well sharing a car on a long road trip. And, having seen the way you drive, you can take the wheel. I like a guy who drives a hot car really fast. And, don't take that the wrong way...

But anyways, let me get to the point.

Ryan, we've known each other a long time, right? So I think I can say this without you getting all defensive and crossing your arms over your buff chest...



Oh, yeah.. Just like that. You know what? You look really hot like that...

ANYWAYS. I think you need to steal a game for us. Obviously our offense is seriously lacking, if you take Mark out of the picture, because there's no reason what so ever that we cannot win a game after having 40 shots on goal. (Oh, and can you tell Mark that I'm so impressed with his play since his call-up? And that if he keeps it up, I second the quote from Kevin Dineen: "I don't know if we'll see him again [in Portland]." Thanks, Ry!)

So I've decided that the only way to get us out of this, what did you call it, a "little bit of a rut," would be for you to stand on your head, give the performance of your life, and win for the team. Because they obviously can't do it themselves.

I mean, don't get me wrong; you know very well that I love every single guy in that locker room, and I would defend them tooth and nail, but they're just off. Or awful... Or both.

Ryan, that's all I ask of you. In the issue of The Hockey News that came to my house yesterday, you were listed in the Plus Column, saying this: "After signing a long-term deal with the Sabres, netminder Ryan Miller is delivering the goods." Well, somewhere along the way, the goods turned into the mediocres, and we need the goods back. Okay?? So, maybe, on Wednesday, we can turn it around?

Because I have this theory that this year, the Buffalo teams are mirroring each other a little bit. I mean, the Bills start off 5-0, the Sabres start off equally as well, if not better. Then the Bills lose 4 in a row. You guys have now lost 5 in a row. Well, the Bills kicked ass yesterday, as I'm sure you know. So I think Wednesday would be the perfect time to get this entire city all riled up again, don't you?

Let's try that then, okay?

Send my love to the team, especially Derek, for obvious reasons...

Love, Cari

PS--Can you please tell me when tickets for the Third Catwalk go on sale? Because I most definitely have to get some...

Housekeeping.

The Sabres need to learn how to do it, so they should take a lesson from me.


(1) As I'm sure you've noticed, I got bored with our layout/template/thing, so I freshened it up. And can I please tell you how obnoxious it is to mess around with Blogger's templates? They're all kinda ugly, or already being used, and since I like to be all cutesy with my stuff, and I don't like to copy people, I get really annoyed when you're only given a handful of options. Whatever, though.


(2) MARK MANCARI SCORED HIS FIRST NHL GOAL LAST NIGHT!!!!! I was soooo proud. We (the nurse I work with and myself) were watching the game at work, and she was laughing her ass off when he scored because I was awing, and saying "Aw, Mark, I love you! I'm so proud of you!" She said I looked like a doting mother watching her only daughter get married. BEST ANALOGY EVER.


I LOVE YOU.


(3) Derek scored again, finally. And he couldn't have done it at a better time, as far as I'm concerned, because, while I was driving to work yesterday, a guy from the Sabres Store called me, and left a message saying that my NEW THIRD JERSEY CAN BE PICKED UP ON WEDNESDAY. YAYYYYYY!! So now I take back saying that I wasn't too sure if I wanted his jersey anymore, because Princess D is starting to play better.


(4) When D scored yesterday, Kim texted me and said "he doesn't skinny dip, he chunky dunks." This is why I love her.


(5) Awesome reader Katie told me that she saw D eating spaghetti at Chef's yesterday, and that he eats like a pig. Now, I don't know about you, but I tend to view all the Sabres as perfect people, kinda like every girl's expectations of Mr. Right. So I never expect any one of them to shovel pasta into their mouth and let the mozzarella cheese that was melted all over it to stick to the plate as they chew a mouthful. So, Katie, as fantastic as that was, I'm going to forget you ever told me that, and go on living in my blissful, delusional world. No offense though. I still love you.


(6) I decided that I'm not going to comment on actual game-play until the Sabres start winning again.


(7) If the playoffs were to start today, we'd be out. That's depressing, considering the start we had.


(8) I totally called Timmy C's injury--BROKEN RIB. Called it. And I'm not one to say I told you so... Actually, who the hell am I kidding. I TOLD YOU SO!! =]


(9) I never commented on Paul's fish story. A-FREAKING-DORABLE. I hate worms too, but that's mostly because when I was little, my friend Kevin used to (AND I'M NOT KIDDING YOU. I SWEAR.) squirt chocolate syrup on them and eat them like spaghetti. At least Derek doesn't do that... But I don't like fish, either. My friend Kristle's dad used to fish all the time and he'd gut them in the backyard while we were laying out in the sun. Gross.


I leave you with my last comment of this Sunday, as I'm currently watching the Bills, leading the Chiefs. *crossing fingers* ...maybe??


(10) My dad made these up last night and sent them to me; they're absolutely hilarious, and you really should take the time to watch them all: Dance 1, Dance 2, Dance 3, Dance 4

That was AWESOME.

And I'm not talking about the Sabres game, because that was terrible.

And I felt terrible, because it was Jason's first Sabres game, and the only exciting thing that happened was Peters' fight, which wasn't even that good to begin with.

I mean, it was obvious that they were trying, because things worked pretty well, at times. But there is absolutely no excuse that we get shut out when we miss at least four wide-open nets. It's just not right.

There are only a few guys that I think played decently enough: Mark Mancari (who got the third star YAYYYYY), Nathan Paetsch, and Paul Gaustad. You can argue others, and I'd probably agree and apologize for omitting them in hindsight, but that's what I've got.

I seriously think that the only way to get through to these guys would be to place Timmy and Al on IR, and call up Gerbe and Kennedy, and let some guys who have something to fight for play. If the regular guys' jobs are in limbo, they'll show up. They will. Nobody likes being benched so a guy from the minors can show them up. That's like you being at your job for five years, and you're being told by your boss that the guy who just got promoted from the mail room is more efficient than you.

Another couple things about them: Craig, as much as I love him, hasn't been the same since he sat out with his knee injury, and we need a game from Ryan that's a win from the goalie. And there are others, as well. Drew needs to stop gripping the stick so tightly, and get angry for being benched. He just seems to go with the flow, and it kills me. I'm too angry to go on.

On another note, I saw dear Timmy at the game last night. He was sitting up in the press box. And funny story... I never usually look in that area of the press box, because I didn't think the players sat there, but for some reason my eyes sort of gravitated to him. AND I STILL DON'T GET IT. HE'S NOT THAT ATTRACTIVE. idk. He just has a really powerful aura, I guess.

Shannon and I were going to flash him, but we couldn't really see him, mostly because he was sitting down, so we decided that possibly getting his attention wasn't worth her boyfriend Mark and my friend Jason getting all sorts of angry and the most-likely public indecency charge. But, in hindsight, I'm sure Timmy's got a sensor for that sort of thing, and he probably would have noticed... Yet again, another missed opportunity.


BUT I HAVE SOMETHING AMAZING TO SHARE.

Are you ready???

Are you sure? Because I'm not so sure that you are.

Well, alright. So, remember how last year, Derek was playing fantastic, and this year, he kinda sucks? And remember how we've been saying it's because he's a chunky monkey???

WELL I WANT THIS DEREK BACK:



Thanks much to awesome reader Katie for this gem. She's my new best friend (Sorry, Kim).

And I think MJ put it best, by saying, "UM BRB clawing my eyes out because I never want to see another pic again because this one is the winner. We as a society can stop taking pictures now."

Amen, sister. Amen.

If only that picture could help the Sabres play better...