EVERY TIME WE HAVE A LITTLE TIFF...

...Derek goes and runs in the bathroom...

Or out onto Chippewa...

What happened to Derek?

(Okay, so I promised more pictures, and here is my way of giving them to you, without mentioning anything about last night's game at all, other than in my make-believe argument with Derek, but you'll have to bear with me as Derek and I have our first fight:)

Derek: Cari, how can you expect me to play well when you're not wearing my jersey, and barely watching me play?

Cari: Derek, I can't expect you to pay off my student loans, my credit card bills, my phone bill, and my car insurance, so I have to work--AT MY JOB--which usually allows me to watch the games, but sometimes the elderly have to go to the bathroom, which is why I can't always watch, and which is also why I don't always wear your jersey. Selfish jerk.

Derek: EXCUSE ME??

Cari: You heard me, Mister.

Derek: Well... I'm sorry that I haven't played well. I am. But my groin hurts.

Cari: Well maybe you should stop having your friends grab your groin while you're drunk! Ever think of that??

Derek: What are you even talking about?

Cari: Ask MJ.

Derek: Oh... That. I was drunk.

Cari: No duh. So maybe instead of going out and drinking away your sorrows after the team loses, maybe you could either hang around at the arena and watch some tape or workout or something, or take a walk back to your house and get some sleep...

Derek: FINE!

Cari: Oh, now don't go getting all defensive on me and running away...

Derek: I just feel like you don't appreciate me anymore!


Cari: Oh, stop it. You know, whenever we get in a tiff, you go and make this puppy dog pose, and I get all mushy inside...

Derek: Really?

Cari: Yeah, really. I don't care if your male friends grab your crotch while you're drunk... I love you. I really do. But the side thing about that is, I think I could get past your apparent homosexual tendencies. Just, don't let me find out that you really do bat for my team, because I don't think I could take that.

Derek: I'll try to stop disappointing you...

Cari: That'd be a good place to start. And you can definitely start by playing very, very well when I sit front-row a week from tomorrow, against Tampa. I don't want Vinny, Marty, and Steven running the show like the last time they were in town.

Derek: Gotcha.

Cari: So, go workout or something. And tell Patty K and Craigory that I love them, and hope they get better very, very soon. I have to go, Derek. We'll talk about this later.

(That's what I think of when I see that picture... Derek throwing a hissy fit. And thanks, again, to one of my most-awesomest readers, Katie, for continuing to send me the most ludicrous pictures of Princess D, which only make me love him more, no matter how compromising they might be...)