Monday, November 3

Ummm...Holy Crap?!?!?!

So let me just say that I have never been more proud of the Sabres then I am at this moment, if I was a mother hen, I'm pretty sure my chest feathers would be all puffed out in pride. The Sabres were absolutely amazing they skated so fast that first period I think I was getting whiplash just from watching them. I could have sworn that the entire Devils team was standing still for 30 of those 60 minutes. Twenty shots and they had to wait until the dying seconds to get a goal in the first period but hey it was still a goal who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

And of course tonight was the return of Craig Rivet to the line up, completely ahead of schedule which surprised everyone including me, but once again, gift horse and mouth equals me not looking.

Did anyone else giggle every time the announcers said Johnny Oduya, because I did, it's just so hard to take him seriously with that last name. Maybe it was just me I have a twisted sense of humor.

I was very disappointed to find out when I got home that the game was on Versus because we all know that the announcers on that channel are a bunch of morons, a bunch of very dumb, very stupid morons who don't have a clue as to what the hell they're talking about. However, watching a game on Versus is entertaining if nothing else. Seriously, I only listen to them to see what kind of stupid ass analogies they can come up with during the games. We all know the usual ones such as:

  • The cage is actually the net, luckily they only said it a handful of times which is down from the usual hundred.
  • The paint is the crease.
  • A drive is a shot.

Tonight the morons came up with some spectacularly bad sayings that completely bear repeating.

When Gaustad got into that small scuffle near the beginning of the game they called him "a large human" well no duh.

When Vanek got the call for hooking one of the announcers claimed that it was "fondling with the stick" which can be taken in so many ways most of them nasty.

When Gaustad was screening Weekes they said "try looking through that humanity."

Buffalo had 20 shots against the Devils in the first period and "It's been a mastadonic performance" were the words of choice to describe this phenomenon.

"He was gased" when one of the Devils players looked tired.

"He got that one off the drive by" as in Kaleta when he tipped the puck into the net for the goal from 20 feet out.

"He almost got that one in the grill" when they were describing why most guys don't like to be positioned in front of the net.

And they kept talking about yardage, uh, hello, we're not playing football here.

Those are about all that I caught, but seriously where do they get these guys? I'm sure if you handed Cari and I a microphone we could do a much better job. Hell, I'm sure a trained monkey could do a better job, maybe even an untrained monkey.

Timmy Connolly was skating to the net without a helmet on and I thought "this is it the next thing I'm going to see is him being taken off the ice on a stretcher because all the bones in his body are now broken."

We took 6 penalties in a row, are you kidding me? But then again we managed to kill all of them off, yay for special teams, you all deserve big cookies.

Plus how cool was it that Miller got two consecutive shutouts the first of his career and the first time that has happened in Buffalo since Marty had 3 in a row in the 02-03 season.

Goals tonight went to Pominville (which now has another resident) who got his 4th and Patty K. who got his 1st.

My Three Stars:

3. Pominville for obvious reasons.

2. Kaleta because not only can the guy draw penalties but he can score as well, on the drive by of course.

1. And tah-dah, Miller as my first star because the man is just a beast and let's face it without him we'd probably be behind the Islanders in the standings.

We'll that's about it, next time you hear from me will probably be when I'm in Boston but if not talk to you all on the flip side.

Oh and did anyone happen to see the cute little happy dance that Lalime did while congratulating Miller out on the ice after the win? Adorable, enough said.

Length of Game: 60 minutes
Goals Scored Against The Devils: 2
Goals Scored Against The Sabres: 0
Watching Patrick Lalime Dance Like A Little Girl: Priceless

10 comments:

Cari said...

Watching Patrick Lalime Dance Like A Little Girl: Priceless

I missed that... I was probably doing work at work for a change. And I love how I managed to get 10 of my 13 residents in bed before 7 pm, just so I could watch the game, and the proceeded to make the ones who ring constantly watch the games in their rooms, as well.

Oh, and I'm sure that if someone gave us microphones, they'd wish they never had. Not that our conversation isn't, um, hockey-literate, but it's most definitely a (little?) bit bazaar.

Rachael and Lucinda said...

DRIVE!!!!!!!! hahaha I hate those guys! I giggle everytime they mention Goose because he's always refered to as "The Big Body" or something like that.
And how about that sweet outfit Brian Engblam was wearing tonight? Good lord...they need fashion tips from Royzie!

R

lakebnd79 said...

I'm glad Rivet is back, but he's killing me. I had arthroscopic knee surgery 5 days before him and I'm still telling my family I can't make dinner and could we order out again. Then there he appears tonight, 2 weeks post op skating up a storm. Needless to say, the family gave me the look.
And yes, what the hell was Timmy doing out there without his helmet on? I gasped out loud when i saw it!

Cari said...

And yes, what the hell was Timmy doing out there without his helmet on? I gasped out loud when i saw it!

I was at work during the game, and when that happened, I grabbed my nurse, Betsy's arm, and said, "BETSY!! HE'S GOING TO DIE."

HAHAHAHA

Jill said...

"a large human", "fondling with the stick", "try looking through that humanity", "It's been a mastadonic performance", "He was gased", "He got that one off the drive by", "He almost got that one in the grill"

This is exactly what I meant on my site... Douche bags spewing their Douche Baggery...

Oh and if you try to spell check mastadonic... masturbation comes up... that made my day... LMAO!

Shelby Rose said...

The little dance Patty Lalalalalime did after the Sabres won made my night. He is amazing.

My stepdad and I decided that the Versus guys had a dictionary with them so that's why they were using all these big words that made no sense.

Cari said...

My stepdad and I decided that the Versus guys had a dictionary with them so that's why they were using all these big words that made no sense.

"Mastodonic" is not a word. Check it: http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=define:+mastondonic&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Idiots.

Shelby Rose said...

Ugh, I knew they were a bunch of morons in more ways than one.

dani said...

Did anyone else giggle every time the announcers said Johnny Oduya, because I did

Only every time they say his name!!!! :D

thefanaticalfan said...

just for the record, if the sabres had lost i still would have been okay with it because i got to hear a hockey announcer say "fondling with the stick"