Wednesday, October 29

Hello, Paul? It's Me, Cari...



Paul: Hello?

Cari: Hey, Paul, it's me.

Paul: Oh, hey!!  How are you?

Cari: I'm good, but Paul?  Why do you have bunny ears on?

Paul: Oh, Cari, don't you know that Friday is Halloween?  I have to find my costume still, you know.

Cari: So what are you trying to be with that getup?  A modest cross between a Chippendales dancer and a Playboy Bunny?

Paul: How'd you guess?

Cari: It's not that difficult...  Anyways, let me get to why I called.  Paul, are you healthy?

Paul: Well, I don't know.  Ultimately, that's up to Lindy.

Cari: Well, please decide, because if you or Timmy aren't ready to play tomorrow night, and Adam does get suspended for his shenanigans--oh my God, I just thought of this, but if Adam does get suspended, who's going to take care of the Man Children?--but if he does get suspended, we need another guy, and it had better be one of you.

Paul: Cari, we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.  The NHL is quote-unquote investigating is, so...

Cari: Well, I don't trust the NHL.  I'm hoping at most they'll slap him with a fine, but Paul, what if?  Who would we get from Portland?  Mark?  So we can risk waiving him again?  No thank you.

Paul: Stop being such a worry wart.  You're upsetting my aura.  Hey, where are my milk and cookies for being hurt?  I never got them.  I thought you were going to leave them on my doorstep for me?

Cari: Kim wouldn't let me.  She said that would be crossing the line.

Paul: They're cookies.  Cookies never cross the line.

Cari: Good to know.  But Paul?

Paul: Yes, Cari?

Cari: Hurry back, please.  And next time don't punch people too hard.  Oh, and Paul?

Paul: Yes, Cari?

Cari: Can you tell your BFF Ryan that he's kicking ass in the TSN Power Rankings?  And ESPN's for that matter?

Paul: Sure.

Cari: And you didn't tell me who would watch Danny and Clarke in the event of Adam's absence...

Paul: Um, I don't know for sure...  Maybe Jaro?

Cari: JARO??!!  He'd probably try to lure them into the shower room with the cookies I'd make for you and then he'd fillet them, or something.  And he'd probably hang Mr. Snuffles on a plaque above his mantle...  No, Jaro; I love you, but no.

Paul: Drew, maybe?

Cari: Are you kidding me?  Drew eats paste.

Paul: Fine.  How about I give the job to the equipment guys?

Cari: They think a taxidermic pigeon is funny.  Let me think, NO.

Paul: Well, who do you suggest then?

Cari: Yourself.  Duh.  So get healthy.

Paul: I'm working on it.

Cari: I'm going to school now.  I'll talk to you later, okay?  Bye.

Paul: Bye...

Cari: (in a txt to Paul)  Oh, and tell Pommers I won't see him tonight at Dave and Adam's because I have trip preparations to commence.  And tell Petey that I'll be listening to him on Star 102.5 tomorrow at 8:10, but I might have to turn him off for Derek.  Okay?  Thanks Paul!

6 comments:

Mary said...

hahah, that was great!

They're cookies. Cookies never cross the line.

Never truer words spoken.

Jill said...

HA! I bet he would love cookies! They may not be on his diet... LOL!

Shelby Rose said...

Paul: Drew, maybe?


Cari: Are you kidding me? Drew eats paste.


LOL! What a bad influence for the kiddies.

Cari said...

Never truer words spoken.

Cookies make everyone feel better. Every time a Sabre gets hurt, I feel like someone (namely, me) should bake them cookies.

Cari said...

They may not be on his diet... LOL!

Everyone has room in their diets for cookies...

Cari said...

What a bad influence for the kiddies.

HE IS A BAD INFLUENCE. A bad, bad influence. But I still love him! Whenever I watch Bueller's Day Off, during the scene where Jeanie is in the police station, and Charlie Sheen is sitting there in his bad-ass leather jacket, picking his fingernails with his pocket knife... That's how I imagine Drew. Total bad-ass.