Wednesday, October 29

Hello, Paul? It's Me, Cari...

Paul: Hello?

Cari: Hey, Paul, it's me.

Paul: Oh, hey!!  How are you?

Cari: I'm good, but Paul?  Why do you have bunny ears on?

Paul: Oh, Cari, don't you know that Friday is Halloween?  I have to find my costume still, you know.

Cari: So what are you trying to be with that getup?  A modest cross between a Chippendales dancer and a Playboy Bunny?

Paul: How'd you guess?

Cari: It's not that difficult...  Anyways, let me get to why I called.  Paul, are you healthy?

Paul: Well, I don't know.  Ultimately, that's up to Lindy.

Cari: Well, please decide, because if you or Timmy aren't ready to play tomorrow night, and Adam does get suspended for his shenanigans--oh my God, I just thought of this, but if Adam does get suspended, who's going to take care of the Man Children?--but if he does get suspended, we need another guy, and it had better be one of you.

Paul: Cari, we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.  The NHL is quote-unquote investigating is, so...

Cari: Well, I don't trust the NHL.  I'm hoping at most they'll slap him with a fine, but Paul, what if?  Who would we get from Portland?  Mark?  So we can risk waiving him again?  No thank you.

Paul: Stop being such a worry wart.  You're upsetting my aura.  Hey, where are my milk and cookies for being hurt?  I never got them.  I thought you were going to leave them on my doorstep for me?

Cari: Kim wouldn't let me.  She said that would be crossing the line.

Paul: They're cookies.  Cookies never cross the line.

Cari: Good to know.  But Paul?

Paul: Yes, Cari?

Cari: Hurry back, please.  And next time don't punch people too hard.  Oh, and Paul?

Paul: Yes, Cari?

Cari: Can you tell your BFF Ryan that he's kicking ass in the TSN Power Rankings?  And ESPN's for that matter?

Paul: Sure.

Cari: And you didn't tell me who would watch Danny and Clarke in the event of Adam's absence...

Paul: Um, I don't know for sure...  Maybe Jaro?

Cari: JARO??!!  He'd probably try to lure them into the shower room with the cookies I'd make for you and then he'd fillet them, or something.  And he'd probably hang Mr. Snuffles on a plaque above his mantle...  No, Jaro; I love you, but no.

Paul: Drew, maybe?

Cari: Are you kidding me?  Drew eats paste.

Paul: Fine.  How about I give the job to the equipment guys?

Cari: They think a taxidermic pigeon is funny.  Let me think, NO.

Paul: Well, who do you suggest then?

Cari: Yourself.  Duh.  So get healthy.

Paul: I'm working on it.

Cari: I'm going to school now.  I'll talk to you later, okay?  Bye.

Paul: Bye...

Cari: (in a txt to Paul)  Oh, and tell Pommers I won't see him tonight at Dave and Adam's because I have trip preparations to commence.  And tell Petey that I'll be listening to him on Star 102.5 tomorrow at 8:10, but I might have to turn him off for Derek.  Okay?  Thanks Paul!


Mary said...

hahah, that was great!

They're cookies. Cookies never cross the line.

Never truer words spoken.

Jill said...

HA! I bet he would love cookies! They may not be on his diet... LOL!

Shelby Rose said...

Paul: Drew, maybe?

Cari: Are you kidding me? Drew eats paste.

LOL! What a bad influence for the kiddies.

Cari said...

Never truer words spoken.

Cookies make everyone feel better. Every time a Sabre gets hurt, I feel like someone (namely, me) should bake them cookies.

Cari said...

They may not be on his diet... LOL!

Everyone has room in their diets for cookies...

Cari said...

What a bad influence for the kiddies.

HE IS A BAD INFLUENCE. A bad, bad influence. But I still love him! Whenever I watch Bueller's Day Off, during the scene where Jeanie is in the police station, and Charlie Sheen is sitting there in his bad-ass leather jacket, picking his fingernails with his pocket knife... That's how I imagine Drew. Total bad-ass.